Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mother's Day (our adoption journey)

I have thought about this blog post for weeks and weeks. Where do I even begin to express the hundreds of emotions running through my brain? Mother's Day is tomorrow, and for the last  4 years has been a day I absolutely dreaded for 2 reasons.

1. Being thousands of miles away from my own mom who is my very best friend, confidant, and funniest lady in the world.

2. Wanting nothing more than to have and hold my own little one.

We stopped going to church on Mother's Day Sunday because I would find myself getting so resentful and jealous (& that's TOTALLY NOT my personality) watching (amazing) women hold their babies and just dying to be in their shoes. Not to mention, the mothers getting their cute gift as you leave the chapel hoping the next year would be MY YEAR to get that chocolate bar or flower. Dramatic? Probably. Did I still take a chocolate bar? Maybe. :)

This Mother's Day, however, we have great hope for the first time in a long time. A few weeks ago, we were contacted by an absolutely wonderful woman. She explained that she is pregnant and due in July, and wanted to get to know us to see if we would be a good fit to adopt her baby. My guard was  up at first, due to the several disappointments we've had through our adoption journey. As soon as we had our first conversation over the phone, my heart and Matt's were so at ease and comfort filled us. We have talked basically everyday since our first conversation in April, and we are BEYOND excited to adopt this sweet baby! With adoption, there's not really any guarantees until all is said and done, but we have never felt more confident. It is the best feeling. 

Today is National Birthmother's Day, and I sent our birthmom this quote, which I LOVE:

"In adoption, a child is not given up.
A bithmother GIVES life.
She GIVES a part of her heart that will never feel whole.
She GIVES another mother a part of her heart that was always missing.

An adoptive mother GIVES a life and family to this child.
She GIVES unconditional love.
She GIVES a part of her heart to another mother.
You GIVE a lot--just never give up."

When I came home from getting my nails done with my sister-in-laws today, these were waiting on my doorstep. Flowers, chocolates, and the sweetest from our birthmom wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. How thoughtful is that? I just love her so much!!!
 I'm not sure what I did to deserve to be surrounded by such amazing moms, my Mom, Julee, my mother-in-law, Tami (Happy Birthday!!), and our birthmom, Jess.

These women, and especially my own mom, have molded me into a strong and confident woman. 
I pray I can be half of the mother my mom was to me to our sweet angel. If you know my mom, you know she will be the BEST GRANDMA EVER. She literally has had an entire closet full of baby clothes since 2010 stored up for this day...